No white rabbits were harmed in development of this product. 101% guaranteed to make your plants attain the “Beanstalk Effect” so you too can reach for the sky!
-“Wow. This is almost too good to be true”, said Bunky as he unwrapped the package from from a small city in China, with no more than 5 million people, who…
It says here,” Just add water for the Harold Effect that”..hmm. They must have used Google Translate to well, translate this? “After 2 shakes of a Moose Tail, then” I wonder if that is the tail of a Chinese Moose, which might as well be Moose China, which would signify,”…
Howie just stood next to him and blinked, while he read the destructions. There was something familiar about the smell coming from that container. Almost as if “Mom” was in there and…
-giving it a bit of a nudge and…
“Howie! Now you’ve done it!
“It says one teaspoon per 1000 liters…You’ve put at least a cup into the water and…what? How much is a cup compared to a liter? Golly Gee Howie. Why can’t the rest of the world give up on those old-fashioned measurements and do as the rest of us Americans do? I mean really! A foot is a foot, isn’t it? Howie just blinked and wondered when that lady moose was going to drop by and give him a real moose hug?…still talking to himself…an average man’s foot, is a foot! Then we wouldn’t need to think about what a liter was, and why someone is trying to cheat us out of our Gallons and our Quarts that…..”
“I’ll just go back into the house and get Lola….where is the house, Howie?”
A thick green growth, smelling of Wild Moose and their more subtle properties, was surrounding him as he spoke. Howie just blinked and thought, “If only they were twigs, then he and “Mom” could have a good talk about all of the old times, they never had together.
A single tear ran down his face as he thought about….
“Sorry about that Howie. I guess, I’m just an emotional guy. I was just thinking if I never saw Lola again…”
Where have those boys gotten to? thought Lola as she got ready to go outside and…
“Howie!” Where has that boy gotten to? Honestly. Those two “boys” are most likely out on a lark, or getting into trouble again, just like usual.
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of “The Moose Poop from Outer Space!”
“Gosh Lola. Just think about it. You and I and Howie lost in that tall grass,while some Mad Scientist, most likely a Canadian, had developed this stuff in his/her Metric Laboratory, waiting to try it out on regular, every day Americans like us!”
Lola was rummaging around in the kitchen as he spoke. “Have you seen my deciliter measuring cup, Dear? I thought it was right here next to the Liter and the metric scale that…”
-“but we don’t use those things, Sweetkins! We are only concerned with, oh hi Howie. How’s tricks?”
“Hi Mom. Hi Dad. I’m hungry. When are we eating dinner?”
“Well. Your Mom is making some delicious Moose Soup with Noodles, and it will be ready in about….”
“Dad. Get Real OK! Moose Soup is for losers! I can’t hang out with my friends at the Mall in Homer stinking to high heaven of Moose Soup! Why can’t we eat like other Alaskans?”
“Howie. Dear, said Lola”, looking concerned, while he stuck his head in the Fridge and started drinking directly out of the milk carton.
“Howie! that is not the way we do things around here!” said by his father. A stately man with greying temples. His wife, a woman who carried her age well, was….
“What do you mean, she carried her age well? I am younger than you are “Mr Greying Temples” and I am not about to be put off, just because you are vying your colleagues at the firm to be “Mr Metric Salesman 2018!”
The grass looked too high to wade through, but perhaps Howie could take a let and elephant leap at at flying, uh, a leap over the green and find Lola, before this blog ran out of confusion in about 100 words from now?
Howie just looked at me and said,”Gosh Dad. Don’t you think that Mom is worried about us being trapped in these crazy sentences, while she is both cooking, talking Metric and..”
“Howie. If I thought this blog was starting to make sense, I’d have walked out on you two years ago, but as it is, I’m in it for the duration, pressing the envelope and the orange, right up until the pits are squeezed out and…”
“Ooh Bunky. Stop squeezing my oranges so hard! Soon my pits will be…”
“Gosh Dad. You made it! 800 words and counting. I’ll just stand here a while and blink a bit, while you consider the point of this blog and how you are going to explain it to our followers!…..”
Lola's Travels in Alaska 