After the 194 Words of Drivel Mark, and Counting

“Go ahead then” said Lola as the blog began to defrost, though it still was a bit icy about the edges! “Start my day off with your usual time-wasting phrase! Come on, I double-dare you!”

“Gosh Lola, the last time you double-dared me was when you-

“We don’t knead to mention that time again, do we?” asked Lola as she craned her head up towards the last paragraph, then saying “The last blog went over its banks, causing the Podcast Room to be flooded with whimsy, most likely caused by your “Gosh Lolas” witch as we know, shouldn’t be allowed more than once in every blog!”

“But that’s my finely boned, expressive state, where the usual, unassuming reader of our blogs, wakes up and spills their morning beverage all over the keyboard, before saying “I

“194 words of drivel and counting!” said Lola, while she continued with “Now. Listen carefully and we might get done in this blog, what we should have gotten done in the last blog!”

Her mate just nodded then started tapping his foot on the ground before Lola said “Do you have a nervous foot, or is what I am ranting about, boring you without belief?”

“G. Lola, I was just thinking about that latest hit, “Putting the P in Penguin, but-

“What is with “G”? demanded Lola, as she wondered what was going on in Kenai Proper where she should already have been at this point in the blog, while he said “We can do the “osh” part later on if you wish?, My Sweet” he said, as Lola suddenly appeared in Lower Soldotna, trying to keep the blog within its designated borders, before they weren’t anymore!

“Now, when I give the word” said Lola to Dr Stone, “You pull this rope, along the lines here” said, while pointing to a newly penciled set of dots and dashes on the floor, while Davor, or somebody knot like him said “Is that written in Moose Code, or is it just me who doesn’t know what is happening today?”

-whispering “Davor or somebody knot like him is trying to deal with his foreignness, something that never happened when Dave, or somebody like him was here, and…..My Goodness Ms New Marjory! This blog kneads some shortening, doesn’t it?”

Lola nodded before saying “Sadly yes, but if we just concentrate on the matter at hand, then we might just be able to set things right, or set things wright, depending!”

“Why don’t we wait until the Podcast Host comes on the air and fills us with hope and gaiety?” said Davor, or somebody knot like him with Dr Stone commenting,

“You see. Foreigners like that using an authentic word from the English language, but not a common one, which could mean, he read it on a box of Moose Flakes, while wondering when the Moose Skin Woman’s Zipper wood stop its quivering and-

“Good morning to all of you, who treasure this Podcast, no matter if you wear your foreignness like a medal on your chest, or have decided to chuck it all and return to the fellow, you used to be, or somebody that looked just like him!”

Lola thought about sighing, but thought that wood only give more delays in the blog, so she said “Now listen here. This is a most easy task, in which anyone who wood claim to be somebody or someone not like that, could accomplish!”

“Davor” said the Good Doctor Stone. “Hit me in the vestibule, won’t you, so I can better interpret what Ms New Marjory is, was trying to say, but didn’t!”

Davor, or somebody knot like him just nodded his head then disappeared into the Good Doctor’s Office, closing the door after him!

–then poking his head out again saying “Just where is your vestibule located, or was that comment pointed at Dave, or somebody like him, instead?”

“That might just be the signal, we’ve been waiting for?” said Lola, as she tapped out a number on her cell before saying “This is it! Start your pulling!”

“Just a moment, won’t you Deer Listeners! It seems as if I have a task to accomplish, something that the Moose Skin Woman wants, and most likely will be getting today!”

–sounds of cheering heard in the background, with someone yelling “The Zipper is going down, down, down!“

-more cheering heard as he said “But first, let’s hear what impressions, the first caller of the day has to add to this excitement!”

“Is he Deef, or have I lost my mind in thinking that he could do just one little thing for Moi?” said Lola, and rather rhetorically at that!

Dr Stone leaned over towards Davor, or somebody knot like him to say “That was a double rhetorical question, if I never heard one before!”

“Listen here Buddy. Me and the fellows at the Odd Penguin Hall here in Lower Soldotna are wondering if you and the Moose Skin Woman need a quiet moment alone, away from the geering crowds and squashed Penguin Puffers on the floor?”

“Finally, someone who has a decent suggestion about spending quality time with your better half, away from the gearing crowds and assorted malcontents!” ranted Lola, while Dr Stone said “Shall we put down the ropes now, and

“Pull! As if your Wife Depended on it!” roared Lola, as her mate felt a sudden surge at his end, while his cell rang with Ms Button said “My what a firm grip you have there! I only hope your mate appreciates it, when you have to tug on her rope?”

“Dr Stone, New Ms Marjory! I’m back!” shouted Dave or somebody like him with Dr Stone saying “Funny isn’t it, but I was just getting used to the foreignness of the moment, but that only makes me want to visit Canada, all the more, dagnabbit!”

Lola threw a quick glance at the blog borders, before heading back home again, while her mate ended the Podcast by saying “When the Moose Skin Woman comes home tonight, we’ll be celebrating by earning the ropes together!“

“After that is, my G_osh gets to see the light of night, once again……..

Good Foreigner Bad Foreigner, or Somebody Like Them

“Now listen to me and listen good!” said Lola the other day, while her mate eyed the Podcast clock saying “Gosh Lola. We don’t have time for, well, you know, what you usually want me to do, and then some!”

“What I’m about to tell you doesn’t have to do with that but you can just keep those thoughts on the back-burner for later on this evening, when I do in Kenai Proper, what I expect you to be doing here!” replied Lola, while she handed him a rather largish rope, before saying “Now, when I give you the signal later on today, you pull with all of your might, using that special puny muscle, you like to brag about, and do what kneads to be done!”

–Meanwhile, down in Kenai Proper, Dr Stone and Davor, or somebody knot like him were discussing what knot to use the day doing, or knot doing, depending on who you asked at the time, and did they really care anyway?

“Is the who did or did not really care referring to us, or are their others outside of our realm of thinking that statement was directed towards?” asked the Good Doctor Stone, while Davor, or somebody knot like him said “Oh, sorry about that, but I wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying!”

“That’s the trouble with foreigners like you” harrumphed Dr Stone. “Being one of those Good Type of Foreigners, means that you knead to follow along in the gibberish of the moment, then agree to whatever the rest of us wood consider to be malarkey!”

Davor, or somebody knot like him replied to that reply “I suppose then it’s just the rebel in me that want’s to be the Bad type of foreigner, or somebody knot like him!”

“I’m telling you Lola” said her mate as he moved them a bit closer to the Podcast Room, while continuing with “Remember what happened the last time, you pulled, nipped and tucked the Blog Borders in places where they didn’t appreciated being pulled, nipped and tucked in those areas!”

“That wasn’t my fault, seeing as how nobody else could tell me where Dave or somebody like him had gotten to, which made me do a bit of adjusting, while…..Why, tell me why, are you looking at a photo of Ms “Cute as a Button” while I am in mid-tirade, anyway?”

“Gosh Lola. You might not realize it, but it takes more than two people to mess up a blog, with this blog being living proof of that fact!”

“Well then, I’m surprised you didn’t recommend your “Local Guide” to be the one on the other side of the blog? If you wanted this to be a foursome, then I could have called Dr Stone to be in the same position, where you wood want Ms Button to be in, with that being a compromising one, or knot!”

“You know something Lola?” he said, while Lola looked at the Podcast Clock, knowing that she’d soon have to leaf him and drive to Kenai Proper, seeing as how they, that is the Good Doctor Stone and that Davor Guy, just couldn’t get by with out her!”

“I’ll just continue saying” said her mate, while he wondered why Davor didn’t have “or somebody knot like him” behind him, or

“Well, We could try to contact Bob instead?” he said in his innocent kind of way, while Lola said “Are you telling me that your Local Guide, is not Bob, and that wood be Bob the Penguin, famed in song and story? she said, while a tear came to his eye, just the one that is, before he said “Well, you were the one that nursed him back to health after that unfortunate ice-floe incident, so why knot?”

-For Porpoises of keeping this blog within the correct number of words, we now join Lola, or somebody like her in Kenai Proper, where she says,

“Dr Stone, wood you be a deer and hold this end of the rope so I can

“Wood that be a doe a deer, a female deer, or have I lost track of where this blog was going, anyway?” asked Dr Stone, while Davor or somebody knot like him said “Time for the Podcast!! A day woodn’t be a day without it, wood it?”

“Do mean, a day wood be a night, or am I knot understanding your foreignness again?” asked Dr Stone, while the Podcast Host said

“Today, our Local Guide is on a special assignment, one that is taking him to the north of our current location, while Ms Button is at the south!“

–“I’ve just received a call from one of them, but don’t know exactly who will be the first one to report in!“

Davor or somebody knot like him started to chuckle before saying

“That Local Guide certainly has a load of funny anecdotes to tell, doesn’t he Dr Stone?”

Lola grimaced a bit, then said “Seeing as nobody said anything, then I assume his Local Guide was the first one to knot say anything, wasn’t it?”

“Ms New Marjory.” said Dr Stone “If you want me to keep holding onto this rope, then I fully expect you to laugh along with the rest of us, or

“Or what?” asked Davor or somebody knot like him while the Podcast Host said,

“I’m sorry my dear listeners, but it seems as if an inordinate amount of background whimsy has caused this blog to end abruptly!“

“I told you, didn’t I?” said Dr Stone to Davor, or somebody knot like him, “

-but his reply to the Good Doctor’s reply will have to wait until the next time, with Ms Button closing the blog by saying,

“This rope sure give me ideas, but what time exactly was it you said, your friend with benefits was coming home again?”

–shuffling of papers is heard in the background, before someone says “

“Just keeps firing them off, doesn’t he?” said someone, while the remaining words were packed away on ice, until the next blog defrosted them again……

Her Ankeler Region of the Lower Leg Area

“I’m telling you fellows, those Nomian Winds sound an awful lot like the winds of Healy, and yes, that wood be Healy Alaska!” said the fellow looking at the bottom of his glass, while his buddies at the Healy Bar and Grill yelled with him adding, I’d say Alaska again, but only if I could entail it in Kenaian Speak, just like our hero does!”

“Ever wondered why the bottom of a glass of the good stuff looks different then when the glass is filled up?” asked Today’s Podcast Host, being vaguely reminiscent of Yesterday’s Podcast Host, or his Brother it wood seem!

“Don’tcha think it has something to do with that glass being half empty, or the patron being half drunk?” asked the one Healyite to the other, when someone shushed them, before the Podcast Host said “Well, that depends entirely on how the light falls, or the darkness deepens, which is what we Kenaians say, when the talk runs high, and so does her skirt moving over her ankeler area!“

“Don’tcha think this Podcast should be rated PG, or something along those lines seeing as how he now has mentioned the ankeler area of a woman’s lower foot area, or am I just being a bit too prudish today here in Healy?” asked the bar patron, while the others said “We was wondering what the Moose Skin Woman’s ankeler area looks like, when her skirt is hiked up and then some?”

Lola stopped brushing her hair, while her mate babbled in the other room, with her thinking “I wonder if I should apply for Ms Kenai Ankles 2023, or is that only a contest for misfits and yahoos?

“Why don’t we just deflect on the goings on in and around the Kenai Peninsula, and places beyond, while we listen to that up and coming song, “Putting the P in Penguin!”

Dr Stone was humming that latest and greatest tune when Lola entered the scene of the crime, with Davor or somebody knot like him saying “New Marjory. We, that is The Good Doctor Stone and I, were wondering if your ankeler area is as sexy as the Podcast fellow is inferring about the Moose Skin Woman’s, or is that kind of talk too racy for a normal kind of morning in Kenai Proper?”

Lola had a hard time choosing between punching Davor or somebody knot like him in the stomach, or showing her wares, with that decision being interrupted by the Podcast Host saying “The first 10 callers today will be receiving an 8×10 glossy photo of the Moose Skin Woman’s Ankles, with those still being in the covered up, demure region of her personal person! Oh, looky at all of the lights on the switchboard! Yes, Caller number one, what is on your mind today?”

“Look Buddy. We here at the Healy Bar and Grill were just listening to your Nomian Winds, and they sounded almost exactly like the winds we have here in Healy, and-

“Did you just say, Healy, without the Alaska part?” he asked, while the caller said, “Well, I might have been getting all wound up to say, Healy Alaska, but I was interrupted by someone asking me just that!!”

-voices clamoring for attention in the background make the caller say “But other than that, we were wondering when we’d be receiving that photo of the Moose Skin Woman’s lower leg region, that is, if we are allowed to mention such unmentionables so early in the morning here in Healy?”

“Wood that still be Healy Alaska?” asked the host, while Lola let out a well-placed Scream!

“New Marjory” said Dr Stone sternly. “It’s knot as if he in deferring to your own ankeler region of your lower leg portion, is he?”

“Caller number two, what are your thoughts about the show today?”

“Well. I was just wondering what your Local Guide has to say about that latest tune, Putting the P in Penguin? The Misses and I are betting each other that the artist won’t be able to top Tuna Fish Popsicle, or was that dependent on how many strings his Ukelele had and how flexible his fin-like appendages were on the day that it was recorded!“

“I can see that you have just as much trouble spelling ukelele, in that last verbal question, but don’t worry as we won’t be judging you on that dialectual difference!”

“Caller number three, what do you have to say about how knot to spell ukelele?”

“I was just wondering” said a female-sounding voice, “When you were finished Podcasting and all, if you wood like to have a drink at the Penguin Bar in Kenai with a down to hearth kind of girl of the female persuasion?”

Lola stopped filing her nails to say “Did she just say the Penguin Bar in Kenai?” with Dr Stone saying “Well, yes she did, but wood that be in Lower or Upper Kenai, and more importantly, will she be revealing her ankeler region to the Podcast Host, while he is looking at the bottom of his glass and then some?”

“Sounded a bit rhetorical, if you asked me?” said Davor, or somebody knot like him with Dr Stone saying, Well, it’s a good thing that we weren’t asking you, isn’t it?”

“Caller Number 4 what do you think of the current line of conversation?” asked the Podcast Host as he looked for his Moose Shoes and jacket, before wandering out into the darkness of the Alaskan Night and

“We are still wondering about those Nomian Winds and all!” said a voice then adding “The boys here behind me at the Healy Bar and Grill aren’t exactly certain that those Nomian Winds aren’t the same as the Healyan Winds, or don’t you have that kind of thing down there on the Kenai Peninsula?”

“I say New Marjory” said Dr Stone, as Lola started putting on her Moose Shoes and jacket, determined to nip Ms Revealing Ankles in the bud while Dr Stone continued with “Perhaps Nomian and Healyan are just new adjectives that describe a state of Windness, or their Breezy Brothers?”

Lola just looked at him saying “Just keep on humming that now Classic Tune, and I”ll be back even before you’ve noticed that I’ve gone!”

“We could just consider that you haven’t been here yet, so when you return, it’ll just be like you’ve arrived fashionably late like you normally do?” said Davor, or somebody knot like him, while Dr Stone said “Who hasn’t been here? Or have I just imagined Ms New Marjory’s ankeler region to be under yonder table, while the rest of us were trying to concentrate on the matter at hand?”

“In the course of 2-3 days, knot including last weekend, which woodn’t count in the matter of time that it takes me to post these photos to the first four callers who managed to beat out numbers 5-10, winning these yet to be taken photos of the lower ankeler region of the Moose Skin Woman’s lower leg region!”

“And that will be accomplished while the rest of you listen to the Kenaian Winds as they blow around in the darkness of the Alaskan Night!”

“You see how he does that?” said a voice at the Healy Bar and Grill, while the others present said “Yeah. And mentioning Alaskan like that, without having those wavy red lines appear and all! Some people get all the luck!”…..

Where those Nomian Winds Tend to Blow

“Today Dear Listeners, we will be traveling to yet another exciting location in our fair state, something that will be gaslighting this program for what it really is!”

“Gaslighting, my Sweet” said Lola to herself as she put the final touches on her attire. “Gaslighting his general public, so that they believe what he is ranting about, as being true!” then thinking it through a bit before adding “Sounds like a definition of reality to me!” as she zipped up her Moose Skin and wandered out into the darkness of that Alaskan Night!”

“We were the ones who put the “Was” in Wasilla, while the rest of our competitors were covering topics of a more mundane sort, highlighting local personalities in and around Anchorage, a city purported to be in Alaska, but the jury is still out on that one, isn’t it?”

Lola wondered what her life would have been like, if she had moved directly from Fairbanks to Anchorage, sipping Moose Martinis with the hob and nob of society, while her current mate wood be playing with his cabbages in that backwater known as the Kenai Peninsula!

“Some of you might be asking yourselves, why we don’t gaslight a city like Anchorage, well perhaps we should sometime, when we’ve run out of the other more exciting venues, such as this week’s gem of a city, Nome, and that wood be Nome Alaska!”

–canned cheering and clapping is heard in the background, as he pushes another button labeled “Ambience” with someone yelling, “Come on Moose Skin Woman, We’ve come all this way to see that Zipper go Down, Down Down!”

-more cheering and clapping is heard, as Lola tried to keep her eyes on the road, somewhere close to Deadman’s Curve, where it was rumored that a local Pastor, named Frank Lemming, had seen the light, when everything else was in darkness, making him establish his own church, “Belief beyond the edge of sanity!”

Dr Stone peered out into the darkness of the Alaskan Morning while commenting, “Darker Outside, than a Penguin Rookery in the dead of an Antarctic Winter!” with Davor, or somebody not like him responding with

“Did you just say, Penguin Rookery?” with Dr Stone answering with “Yes. Yes, I did! Somebody around here had to put the P in Penguin!”

“Climbing up the musical charts, now eclipsing that late great tune, Tuna Fish Popsicle, is “Putting the P in Penguin!”

“You see” said Dr Stone, as he turned up the volume to the point of loss of hearing, “Once somebody gets a good idea, the world will eat a Mackerel at your door!”

Lola moved her Moose Skin Outfit into the office at that moment, saying “Why is there a deafening silence in here today?”

Dr Stone turned down the volume before saying “Young woman. You knead to get your priorities straight and listen to this Podcast as if your wife depended on it!”

“Your wife?” asked Lola. “Did you just say, your wife?” with Dr Stone saying “Is that who we were talking about? My wife? Fine woman, at least until she met that fellow with the foreign-sounding name and leafed me in the dead of the Alaskan Winter!”

“You didn’t really knead to say “Alaskan” did you Dr Stone?” asked Davor, or somebody knot like him, with Dr Stone saying “Well, she might have leafed me in the middle of the Canadian Winter, but her lover was the foreigner and knot me!”

“Why don’t we listen to the winds of Nome Alaska, while we move along to the brightly-lit center of town!“

“He usually says Alaska and gets away with it, so why can’t I?” said Dr Stone, with Lola saying “Can’t we please turn down that babbling idiot and get something done around here for once?” while Davor, or somebody knot like him replied,

“You should try out for a job on that Podcast, New Marjory! Seeing as how you could insult the Podcast Host, the Good Doctor Stone and me, if the insult fit, that is?”

“Seeing as how the Moose Skin Woman is in the Little Moose Girl’s Room at this moment, why don’t we ask some of these down to earth Nomian Alaskans, what they think about the utter darkness of the Alaskan Penguin Rookery conveniently located here in Nome Alaska?“

“Did he just say Alaskan Penguin Rookery?” asked Lola, as she turned up the volume once again, with Dr Stone replying, “Who cares about those flightless birds with fin-line appendages! Is Nomian a real word, or knot?”

“Forget about that” butted in Davor or someone knot like him “How is he allowed to say Alaskans, Alaska and mention Nome Alaska, when he is standing right there, where those Nomian Winds do tend to blow?”

“Now to the trained Alaskan Ear, some of you might be able to discern the difference between the winds of Healy, the winds of Wasilla and now the winds of Nome, with all of those exotic places being in Alaska, no less!”

“He said it again, didn’t he?” asked Davor, or somebody knot like him, while Dr Stone said “

He kneads to say Alaska now and again, so foreigners like yourself will remember where you wandered into, bringing your foreign ways and means! ‘Come on now and take your first caller! Then the Moose Skin Woman can exit the Little Moose Girls Room and pummel them, like she’s pummeled others before!”

Lola wondered if this was Alaskan-style entertainment in the backwaters of the Kenai Peninsula, or

“Soon now she’ll make her way into the crowd of Nomians and put them in their places!” said Dr Stone with glee, as Lola wondered again about life in Anchorage, and that wood be Anchorage Alaska!……

“I suppose they are called Anchoraganian Winds in Anchorage, but we don’t knead to put the Penguin before the Rookery, do we?

“Well, do we?”…….

While Still Trying to Put the P in Penguin

“Wait a minute” said Lola, as her mate said “I thought you told me knot to stop, no matter what?”

“I just said, wait a minute, that’s all” said Lola, with her continuing with “I thought, I heard voices coming from the Podcast Studio?”

“Didn’t I tell you that I’ve got all that business covered, my Sweet?” he said, while he reached over for another Moose Martini before saying “Funny isn’t it. The are called Moose Martinis, but there is a picture of a Penguin on the label?”

Ignoring him then continuing with “I’m certain voices are coming from the Podcast Studio! Wait a minute, while I turn on the radio so we can solve this mystery once and for all!”

“Kind of reminds me of someone, but I haven’t been able to put my fin-like appendage on just who that might be?” marveled her mate, while she shushed him while turning up the volume to hear,

“Well, I agree with you on that point, but you still haven’t answered me, why the Moose Skin Woman isn’t insulting us Common Everyday Boobs, or what was it she called us the other day, when you were visiting Wasilla?“

“Someone is running the Podcast” said Lola, as she drew the Moose Covers just a bit closer to “perfection” which by the way wasn’t the name of her newest line of Moose “sham” Poo products for him and her in the State of Alaska!

“Almost has that devil-may-care look of that other rascally fellow, Bob, you know, Bob the Penguin?” he said, while Lola turned to him while saying “Who might I ask is running today’s Podcast, and why was it necessary to do so, while you are attempting to recreate your best moves, and then some, I’m sure?”

“So what you are saying” said the voice in the speaker, “Is that the reason, the Moose Skin Woman isn’t doing what she otherwise does best, is due to her performing some sort of sexy roll play with her mate, Slave Boy and his Mistress?”

Lola turned back towards her mate, who still was trying to put the P in Penguin, the one adorning the label of Moose Martinis, with her saying “You told someone about our, well, our Alaskan Way of Foreplay, and….And who is running the blog, supplying those answers, I ask you?”

“Gosh Lola. You were supposed to whisper, “Alaskan” or one of its contemporaries in my ear, when we had completed the first part of Slave Boy and his Mistress, and were continuing on to the final concussion, and then some, I’m sure!”

Holding her Moose Sheets just a bit closer to her neck before saying “I hope, you won’t be telling me that our Local Guide has been telling Mr and Mrs John Q. Alaskan, how we accomplish our business, which by the way is now hanging by a thin Moose hair, until I get some answers, and soon!”

“Gosh Lola. You don’t have to worry about our Local Guide slithering beneath the Moose Sheets to points unknown! He is merely running the Podcast from a Local locality, while I have put “pushing the buttons” on automatic!”

“And now a message from our Sponsor!” his voice said, while he told Lola, “See. No button pushing here with these digits!”

“Have you ever been troubled by interruptions, whimsical interludes and even the loss of your personal and private Moose Sheet, while in the process of claiming what is rightfully yours and then some? Well, we here at the Moose Martini Company of Lower Kenai, AK, wood like you to relax while sipping one of our newest creations, Moose Martinis, a la Penguin!”

“Did he just say, what I thought he said?” asked Lola, while her mate said, “Was it the remark about “And then some?” because we are still on our way towards that event, depending on how many empty Moose Martini Bottles fall down from the bleachers in the process of seeing who gets what she wants and then some?”

“A part of the inspiration for our latest creation, can be seen on a limited edition of our Moose Martini Bottles, with those displaying a cute little tyke, famed in song and story, but only if your religion allows that kind of thing in the bedroom?”

“You see Lola. Nothing to be worried about today, is there?”

Lola was about to give him a sound verbal thrashing, when someone like her, or so, said

“Listen here you. You really should have been trying to please that woman of yours instead of wasting our time and yours by calling to our Podcast!”

“Listen Lady. With you insulting us, as if you really was there along with your Local Guide, the Misses wants to know if you’d gotten to where you were going, while the rest of us were living out our boring lives, or is that fellow of yours only forgetting where the P in Penguin goes, and why it should have been there in the first place?“

“Did he just say P in Penguin?” asked Lola, while her mate said “Gosh Lola. Anymore sexy talk like that, and we might have to turn off the Moose lights, and find out where we left off only using my Kenai Boy’s Pocket Light, which by the way is not easy to store, seeing as how my pockets are hanging on yonder hook by the door!”

-“With that being, right next to your unzippered Moose Skin, witch will be wowing them once again tomorrow, or the day after, depending on how long the batteries last, including mine, that is…….