“Uh Lola” said someone in the darkness of the Alaskan morning, while someone else said softly “You aren’t interrupting my beauty sleep again, are you?”
“I’ve been thinking about our current lifestyle, and it might be prudent if one of us stopped doing what they usually did to do something else?”
-a light appears then a voice says “Are you actually prepositioning me on this fine Alaskan morning, or have I misunderstood your apparent intentions AGAIN?”
“You know something Lola. You are beginning to sound like me more and more, which makes me feel all ooky inside, you know?”
–a flock of penguins gathered on the nearby road, waiting for the sun to rise, when someone replied,
“What should we be doing instead of what we are doing, might I so innocently ask?” asked Lola as she propped herself up on one elbow, while he replied,
“Well, there was the Podcast Business for one. You know how ideas like that one sometimes seem to get out of hand, with some of us wondering why we started doing something like that in the first place?”
Lola was winding up for her morning rant, while he continued with,
“It doesn’t really matter whose idea it was, seeing as how we knead to support each other’s ideas, no matter how crazy they are, right?”
-the penguins hesitated a bit, then the lead penguin pointed its fin-like appendage towards a nearby house and said
“Are you insinuating that the Podcast Idea, as you put it, was my idea?” said Lola now sitting on the edge of the bed, while her mate said “insinuating is such an insinuating word, but I’ll just sweep that under the old penguin rug for now, and continue with that line of thought, OK?”
-Just then, there was a tap, tap tapping sound heard on their front door!
“I wood have thought that the every day, devil may care Alaskan wood be able to reed the signs outside and fear for their lives by knocking on our door!” said Lola, as she gathered her wits, and her robe about her, and started off for the gun case in the hall!
“Wait half a mo, my Sweet!” said the fellow, purported to be her onetime lover “We’ll just send out the old Penguin Attack Drone, purchased by none other than yours truly, whoever he might be!”
–reading from the back of the box containing the drone,
“Imagine owning your own Penguin Attack Drone? Swooping across the highways and byways of the Alaskan Steppe, seemingly without a sound, while imitating the movements of that now-classical flightless bird fro
-“Flightless birds don’t fly, do they?” interrupted the lovely brunette, with splashes of grey here and there!
“You see there, Lola. Getting a new Narrator Guy really jazzes up our lives, doesn’t it?”
-more tapping heard, getting more impatient as the blog dragged on!
“Gosh Lola. We could just open the door and see who the tapper is, or wood you rather just shoot first then ask questions later, like any other person of the American Ilk?”
-returning from the hall, then saying “Why are there bags of something labelled “Penguin Snacks for him and her” lounging in the gun case? I thought we agreed that you kneaded to keep those kinds of things in the kitchen cupboards?”
–suddenly the tapping noises stopped!
“Gosh Lola. Just see how exciting our lives have become, just because one of us had suggested that things kneaded to get back to the way they were, instead of where they are, you know what I’m babbling about?”
–sounds of telephone ringing, with Mr Confusion saying “Uh huh. Yes, I see your point. I’ll get right on it!”
“Now who was that, might I ask?” said Lola as she pointed the barrel of her 30/30 Winchester at the Penguin Drone, before adding “Whatever moves or doesn’t, flightless or not, is fair game, you know?”
“Why that was one of our Sponsors, demanding to know why we haven’t been on the air as yet! How in the world can he sell his Penguin Attack Drones, if no one can see, nor here them, being all flightless and all?”
Lola put down her rifle for a moment, then said “Do you ever, and I mean ever, listen to what comes out of your mouth, or am I just talking to myself on this fine Alaskan morning?”
“Look here Lola. Moose Bumps as large as, well, as large as Moose Bumps could be!”
“Today Deer Podcast Listeners, we have a special treet for him and her! Broadcasting live from our very own Love Nest, The Moose Skin Woman and Myself were just discussing various and sundry topics, when low and behold, the time for today’s show appeared on the horizon, just over where a line a flightless birds had gathered on our own front stoop!”
“Penguins, you say?” asked Lola, as she grabbed her rifle and moved towards the front door.
-” and with a flip of a switch, your very own Penguin Attack Drone is off and about, routing out any and all Alaskans, or Near-Alaskans, as our neighbor’s are sometimes referred to, while the rest of us lean back on our Laurel Trees and watch the spectacle before us!”
“Caller Number One, what do you have to add on this fine morning?”
“Hey Buddy. Someone just sent one of those flightless attack drones over my hovel, and the misses said it was a high-powered turn on for the likes of her!”
“You see there, fellow Alaskans, an extra plus has just appeared for owning one of these babies!!”
–sounds of rifle fire heard outside, with Lola appearing once again saying,
“How anyone in his or her right Alaskan Nut wood buy one of those things is beyond me?” said, while holding her still smoking appendage, while adding “It was, however, good for me, let me tell you!”
“So buy your own Attack Drone today! Imported by the Penguin Attack Drone Company of Healy Alaska, imported from one of our many friendly dictator-like democracies in the Free world…..
Lola's Travels in Alaska 