Today in fabulous beautiful Downtown Homer Alaska, the long-awaited fashion statement by none other than Mr Fashion himself, Mr Kenny Eye!
“Tickets. Tickets please” Bent stood by the door to Bent’s Antler and collected tickets for the upcoming show. He fully expected Gate-Crashers, and gave his sternest look at the 2 Moose that stood nearby.
“Gosh Barn. Just think. Here we are in beautiful downtown Homer, I said Homer Alaska, and…”
“Tris. I’ve told you before, I’m tired of playing “you are B. and I am Lola!” It’s just too kinky to think about, OK?”
The next Caribou Cart pulled up with B. and his lovely lady, L. exiting and moving past the flashbulbs, and the fervent requests from the local newspaper, “The Homer Hemp” for a once in a lifetime interview with L. that is L. for Lola and she means it too!
“Weapons please. Leave your weapons at the door” intoned Bent as he eyed L. and her obvious-
“Hey Barn. I’ve been eyeing her obvious- as well, but you don’t see me getting anywhere because of that, huh Barn?”
Lola begrudgingly checked her weapon at the door, when she pulled up her dress, just above the visible thigh holster and-
Gasping heard from behind!
“Gosh Barn. What a sight to behold! Something that makes grown Moose weep at the sight!”
“Uh Tris” said Barney in a fatherly way. “The bosses have been a bit worried about you and the clients! Don’t you think, you should just “cool it” a while?”
“Barney” said Tristan laughing. “We are not even real, are we? Just the twisted version of heavenly beings created by someone’s deranged imagination!”
Bent went about the crowd trying to sell his wares, before the main event took place: “Penguin Puffers, get your Penguin Puffers today!”
Armand looked up and said, “Tough Crowd today, Bent?”
Bent answered, “I’ll say. It’s almost Evil Wizard Influence around here today! As is some evil Penguin put a curse on Penguin Puffers, not allowing anyone else to make a profit on them!”
Armand just chuckled a bit, then stood up waving B. and L. over to his seat. “B. and L. what a lovely moment in time to see the both of you today. Please, B. if you will be on my left, and L. on my right! Almost as if I am a pickle between two pieces of bread in this Love Sandwich! Oh, how delicious!”
“Gosh L., Armand has been really nice to you lately. Hard to figure, huh?”
“Not hard to figure, when people really get to know me” said L. though she was feeling just a bit unarmed, after being “unclothed” from her favorite weapons at the door with the rest of the “Constitutionally sanctioned members of the general public!”
And now the Master himself, Kenny Eye!
A drum-roll announced the arrival of a rather shortish fellow, bearing an Ascot in the latest version of Antarctica While and smoking a very longish non smoke, Mt Bird, which unfortunately hasn’t erupted in the last 4 million years!
Silent as a lamb, Kenny Eye moved his arm in a sweeping motion as the “Birds appeared on the stage!
“There is something devilishly familiar about that bloke, if you ask me?” said L. as she eyed Kenny Eye, and was just about to stand up and yell something-” when Armand reached over and said,
“Pity Wally couldn’t join us today, but he was supposed to demonstrate a new weapon for one of the Local Militias!”
–Sirens heard in the background, just before the Homer Ambulance Company or HAC, tooled on by toward the hospital with sirens and lights a-blazing!!!-
“I guess, he won’t be joining us today after all?” said Armand, as he munched on a cinnamon-flavored Penguin Puffer and tasted his Healy Vineyard’s Chablis…
Barney the Vision Moose had found another way into the building, while Tristan remained standing at the entrance, ogling L. and her obvious hidden qualities! Barney moved over to Kenny Eye, and said, “Hi there” with Kenny Eye just acknowledging his presence, as if it were something that happened to him every day of the week.
Lola stood up and announced that she was going to “powder her nose”, which prompted B. to reply, “Gosh L. I swear that’s the first time since we met each other on that Ice Floe near Antarctica, that you’ve ever used that “highly suspicious excuse to exit the scene at hand!”
–with the main characters moving into position for the final, fight to the death scene, Bent was still wondering why his Penguin Puffers weren’t moving as well as expected?-
-seen pacing forth and back, then back and forth again, the Producer, having read the script, just shook his head in dismay-
“Honestly. Do you think this “fantasy” has any chance at all with the American Public? Just consider my position for a moment. Evil Penguins and “quasi-religious animals” who aid and assist humans! What would the religious community think about that? Guns and Sex abounding, with the only thing missing is Rock-n-Roll! Come back to me when you have something a bit more plausible, and what the American Audience of this Network can really believe in! If you are that desperate to sell your product, then try the Canadians! They will make TV out of this kind of fantasy at the drop of a hat! Just look how long Murdoch has been running!”
Bob just looked at the papers in his fins, as the door slammed unceremoniously behind him. He was certain, he had found the correct formula, but not everything is easy in this life, now is it?
He began again, “Somewhere in The Last Frontier lived Lola and her mate B. They……
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot” he said to himself….”Lola and her mate B. and their young and intelligent son, Bob….”