Today we’ll be visiting a True Success Story, Alaska-Style, when our travel blog will be taking us close to, but not equal than Homer Alaska, locally known as “The Pits.” Here we will be speaking with Robert Fettgans who single-handedly has transformed the otherwise barren Quaternary Gravels into an Oasis of….
Lola rolled over onto her stomach and tried to reach the bowl of Moose Chips, while she wondered if there really was intelligent life on that planet called TV, which so many people seemed to be enthralled with, or were simply just glued to each and every fact and figure that ever graced the-
“Stop those thoughts right there Missy” said a voice whose own figure showed what eating Moose Chips throughout the winter months, combined with an occasional Maple Bar from the Moose is Loose Bakery will do to an otherwise fine form of a man! “Just look at these spread-sheets and tell me what a lucky girl you are having found me on Planet Penguin, all those years ago!”
“Tell me Robert, Just what made you decide to grow Avocados in Alaska Anyway?” Robert just waddled over to the microphone and said, “I’ve always known that life in, near to and around Homer Alaska was the pits, so what better place to use that knowledge than right here?” said while pointing with his left flipper-like appendage to the rows and rows of green, leafy perfection. I could tell by the look of Bob and his roundish form that he enjoyed the good life here in Alaska, but then not all of us are “blessed” with a perfect body in this life, are we?
“I think” said B, with a look of silent, almost deaf-like intelligence “that this year’s crop of cabbages will exceed last years with.”…calculating on his slide-rule, then running the numbers into the abacus, before saying, “Where was I?” said before waddling over to the Moose Chips-
-with Lola saying, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough of those? You are starting to look suspiciously like that Bloke on TV, Mr Fettgans!”
“Well then Robert….May I call you Bob?” asked the reporter Hell Bently while Robert just reached up to pick an Avocado saying “I’d rather you not. I try to keep things on the business-like level, if you know what I mean?”
“Gosh Lola. Maybe we should go out and get some exercise together, huh?”
-with Lola replying, “Are you inferring that I?”…admiring the work of perfection that made men weep at the sight of, while others just dared dream of having a true “Woman” like that by their side in life!
“Well, yes and no, depending on which one would make you less mad than the other, that is!”
“Is there a Mrs Fettgans to share the glory with you Robert. You know, someone who stood by your side all those years and encouraged you, telling you that your dream was a valid one, then when success finally found you, she was there to help you reap the bounty that comes with a successful business venue and its accolades!”
“Just look at the image of the both of us in the mirror” said Lola while they tried to determine the distance needed for the both of them to “fit” without having to leave the TV-room and…..
“How about here, my Love” yelled B. from the kitchen, where he was considering making an avocado and butter sandwich, with just a dash of sea salt on top.
Lola would have answered him, but suddenly on TV, she thought she recognized someone, or something that she had seen before?
Robert looked thoughtfully after the last question, then answered, “Well there was one woman in my life. One that had inspired me, nurtured me, then finally told me to pursue my dreams, wherever they led me! Alas, L. is not with me today, but I still harbor the most loving and cherished thoughts that…..”
Lola started to yell, “He, that, I….HEY!…You’d better come back in here and tell me that I am not going crazy, and that means NOW!”
B. had just about gotten that darned pit out of the Avocado bearing the name, “Fettgans” when a yell came from his Better Half.
“Coming My Love” he said, while the Avocado Pit rolled away under his feet, finally coming to a rest near to, but not completely upon the map of Homer. That would be Homer Alaska, which was inadvertently lying upon the floor at precisely that moment when….
-but Lola asked, “Was the pit lying on Homer, or a map of Homer?” which seemed to be a prudent thing to ask, seeing as how this blog was increasing in difficulty just getting the final words in, before sitting back and taking a sip of coffee, before considering what else could be accomplished on the day at hand?
“I saw” said Lola,
-while the credits rolled on the TV screen, with the producers thanking R. Fettgans and his Muse for their participation in the program, which will most assuredly inspire future farmers to follow Robert’s leadership and entrepreneurship!
“Was it a vision of an avocado and butter sandwich?” asked B. as he delivered it directly to her, as she just sat there, mouth open wide, with a look of fading astonishment on her face.
“Oops” he said at the end of this blog, “Almost forgot the salt!….”
“Now, I know what to do” I said to myself. “There are avocados in the kitchen, so…..