“Put up or shut up!” yelled the spicy little number at the end of the table.
It was down to her and me, in the Poker Championships of the Lower Kenai Peninsula and Cannabis Growers Convention of
I actually just wandered on by, hoping to see a strain of Cannabis popular when I was dumb and innocent growing up in the shadow of the nearby mountain peak, Mt Doubting Thomas, or something like that? She was standing there, looking hot and bothered by having been asked the same question over and over again, “but how high will I get? I mean if you compare strain 1 and strain 5, how high will I
Honestly. What some guys won’t do to meet new Girls, but I wasn’t in the market for someone new, because I had my true calling to keep me occupied with, “Ice-cube maker salesman of the year!” Just think about all those girls who couldn’t keep an ice-cube in their house, due to faulty workmanship and ice-makers which couldn’t make the grade!
I was visiting the Lower Kenai Peninsula due to a pesky ice-maker at a local motel, which just wouldn’t work no matter what I did to fix the problem. Let me tell you how something like ice-cubes can take the most mild-mannered woman and turn her into a crazed-killer with nothing more than dealing with a drink without ice in the searing heat of the Alaskan Summer!
Well there I was, ogling the Cannabis, when this young woman came over to me and said, “Hey Big Boy, want a little action in the back room?” with her eyes batting, and her lips inviting, how could I resist? They might just have an ice-maker that needs servicing, you just never know about women like that, do you?
There we were sitting across from each other, with her dealing the cards, barking out the commands, while my ice-cubes were melting in my throat!
“I raise you” she hissed as she peered at her cards once again, then said “I raise you 2 Caribou!”
High Stakes, if you ask me, which she didn’t, but then I got a hankering to scratch my left leg, which always itches in situations like these. I bent down and tried to see anything that I could use against her, but only just caught sight of her slip, embroidered with small white rabbits and 30-30 Winchesters, when a small animal bit me where I lived!
“Ouch!” I yelled as I sat up again, when she said,”Now you’ve met my Pet Pica….Now Play!”
Mother told me never to play cards with an Alaskan, and her words rang true tonight!
I said, “OK. I’ll see you your 2 Caribou, but I knew I was doomed, before
She just sat back and petted her Pica, or whatever they call that kind of thing around here?
The final blow was about to be dealt. I felt it. I did, but she was beginning to grow on me all the same. I reached into my jacket pocket “easy there Mister, nice and easy” and pulled out a Mt Wrangell Smoke. “Would you like a smoke, Ma’am?” I asked politely, just as mom told me to do with strange women,
“No thanks, I don’t smoke, but the name is Lola. Lola Lucky”.
I both feared and anticipated, with sweating hands, her next move.
“Call” she yelled and displayed her hand…..
I knew it! I knew, I should have listened to mom, but did I, did I?
As she raked in the chips, she said, “Never play cards with an Alaskan, because they always have a Moose hidden up their sleeve! Didn’t your mother ever warn you about that?”
Right there and then, I fell in love with her, and she seemed to take a liking, or a fleecing to me as well. When we waved goodbye at the back parking lot, with my Caribou Cart, sans Caribou, standing only in my underwear with a silly smile on my face, knowing how I’d never get to service that ice-maker at the nearby Motel without having the proper equipment!
But all that didn’t matter, did it? We promised to meet again in one week, after she had held an important meeting with a friend at that very same Motel, and
And that was the first time, that I never met the Lola that I know today…..