Punctuaitingly Yours

Well I had high hopes for this blog after the last blog but I can see that the punctuation is woefully lacking so far said Lola while her mate said

Gosh Lola Maybe it is some sort of Union Strike with those punctuation guys or gals showing us and the rest of Alaska, that they are not to be toyed around with

Wait a minute said Lola Why was there a comma in the last paragraph after That Why in the world should that be there when everything else is missing

You didn t need to say Alaska back there you know that don t you said Lola while

I take it back OK Let s restart this blog down below and see if we can t didn t insult somebody s intelligence somehow OK

…………………………………

opening quotation mark Gosh Lola Isn apostrophe t interesting how a line of dots define our existence on this planet exclamation mark closing quotation mark

Opening quotation mark Oh comma as if writing the name of the missing punctuation is going to change anything question mark closing quotation mark comma replied Lola comma as he said opening quotation mark Why don t we use the time in between when we are punctuated and when we are not to make passionate love to one another question mark closing quotation mark comma while Lola said comma opening quotation mark All right you period That last statement was completely out of character for you comma so I demand to know who wrote that and why question mark closing quotation mark

Opening quotation mark Well closing quotation mark comma he said at that juncture comma we could just throw caution to the winds and lie here without our Moose Skins comma and imagine that I was that great lover you apostrophe d always dreamed about and who knows without the racy punctuation comma you are used to comma maybe we ll finally reach that place you keep on telling me about without actually getting there question mark closing quotation mark

silence, then someone said “Gosh Lola! Someone turned the Blog Lights back on again! And there you are without a stitch of Moose Skin to be seen!”

“Are you telling me that when we are involved in our most intimate excursion into the unknown, then that’s when the Punctuation People have finally got their act together and are back on the job?! Rather bad timing, if you ask me?”

“It doesn’t really matter, does it question mark closed quotation mark remarked her mate

“All right” said Lola I demand to know who is messing with our minds, and our bodies question mark closing quotation mark

“You’d think, he was just about tired out having to write out all of that grammar, but then I’ve been punctuated now, what about you?”

Look you just because some people willingly let themselves be punctuated then more power to them but I am not one who commas and tells said Lola finishing off that sentence with a harrumph

“Come on Lola. I’ve tried to make you happy by performing that, well you know, what I am trying to say, but won’t, and I even yelled out while we were attaining that function, showing you that rather large exclamation mark, which signified that I was there, right where I was supposed to be!”

Just because your exclamation mark told of you attaining your conquest, mine was far less obvious, and most certainly not as large as yours seemed to be!

“Gosh Lola. I really thought we’d gotten to that same place together and at the same time, but if seemed as if we either started differently, or ended abruptly! Whichever you want to use while explaining why you seem dissatisfied with my performance, and punctuation thereof!”

It really doesn’t matter now anyway, seeing as how I’m beginning to be punctuated again, said Lola, though it still justifies restarting this blog, just like we should have, could have done before, when you suggested a different form of activity, than that!

Well, at least you can brag about a few well-placed commas, along with an exclamation mark or two, or is that what we’ll be saying to one another, when the blog lights are again turned down low, and you’ll be whispering to me, “Watch where you leave that exclamation mark, Buddy, or I’ll have to show you where to place it in the, uh sentence!”

-and that would be somewhere in Alaska, I’d imagine…..

The Hash Brown Blog without Egg Accompaniment

Today, Ladies and Gentle Mooses, we will be covering the All-Inclusive Coverage of this year’s Strip Mooseopoly Competition, coming to you live from the Mini-mart in Downtown Kenai!

“Aha” said Lola as she perused the above paragraph, then used the Interjection, Aha, to make her point obvious to both him and her!

“We have already used the Strip Mooseopoly Subject on one of our past blogs, though it was just a ruse to continue on babbling about other things, haven’t we?”

“Gosh Lola. This reminds me of one of the first times we crossed Swordfish with one another, when you were a lot more violent than you are today, with brandishing your Winchester 30/30 at every drop of the Moose hat!”

“And why tell me, am I not depicted in that light any longer?” asked the woman, who started to look for their former “Gun Room” inside the current series of blogs, but failing in her attempt at locating it!

Our contestants today will be vying for the privilege to be called, Mr or Ms Strip Mooseopoly Champion for 2022, depending on which local laws will be valid at the time of that decision, and whether Sarah Palin will be awarding the title in person, or via her Moose Phone, online?

“Pretty clever this time with those italicized paragraphs, bringing the reader back to the subject at hand, while the rest of us are wondering why my guns are missing and who took them?” said the Brunette, whose former existence as a Blonde, has never actually been proved, nor disproved, but who cares about trivialities like that anyway?

“Have you gotten a new Narrator Guy, or have those AA-Meetings actually dried the fellow out?”

“All right” said Lola. “Which one of us would have said that?”

Her mate rummaged around in the blog looking for the necessary credentials, while Lola said, “Well, was it you, or was it me?”

“Gosh Lola. It seems as if the blog has taken hold of the reins, while we were discussing why the gun, or guns had disappeared from the blog, as well as your incessant need for perfection, when we are well, observing the local customs, as it were!”

The competition is hot and heavy, let me tell you right here and now! The local raining champion, Moose Magnet, is seen wearing his classic ascot in Denali Blue, despite the fact of it being rather Old School, and not the one in Kenai, as it were, but actually located in Kenai!

Why is the spelling starting to slip again, while the rest of the blog is actually written in Good Old Proper English, complete with random bursts of Capitalization, which are not necessary, unless you are turned on by that sort of thing?

“OK” said Lola in a calm voice, though the rest of us know that it won’t be long before she threatens somebody with her brutal charm and devil-may-care Shoot from the Hip first, then ask questions later, attitude!

This might be a good juncture to use an ad from one of our Main Sponsors, “The Strip Mooseopoly Bored Game, 2022 Edition!

“Now that was an obvious misspelling, wasn’t it My Sweet?” asked the man of men, whose intricate weaving of language in previous blogs is missing without note, in this one!

“You are right, My Sweet” he said to Lola, or responding to what he said, himself, while the rest of us wondered if the end indeed was near?

Lola sighed a bit, having decided to sit this blog out, seeing as how neither she, nor he, whoever that was, was in control, even though the words moved them along in a linear direction, towards the end, if that really was necessary in a blog like this?

“Was it being in control, or worrying about the end, if anyone is still reading what is written?”

“You see right there” said Lola as she pointed to the above sentence. “We might as well move on to the next blog to see if we are doing something more interesting, or is someone still trying to find out why he decided to write something about someone, somewhere today, instead of keeping his grubby fingers off his keyboard instead?”

“Gosh Lola. He can’t help it, can he? It’s kind of like you’ve always said “Whimsy moves in Mysterious Ways, just not in this blog or others!”

-And that’s how I remember you saying it, best!

Back Up a Few Paragraphs, If it Matters Any

“So she tells me, Get your suitcase packed and get out of my sight! And with that said, She showed me the door, which of course, I knew about anyway, but

“Stop right there Mister and tell me what you are talking about, and to who?”

“Gosh Lola. I’ve really wanted to use, whom instead of who, but not everyone can accept the new me, can they?”

“Back to who, or whom was getting thrown out, and by who, or whom!”

“You see, that’s why we got together all those years ago, but seeing as how it is over and done with, then those will just be memories under the bridge from now on, won’t they?”

“Why are you leaving and how did I make the decision to show you the door, and before you break into my sentence again, I know, you know which door that is?”

“Well, it must have happened just before this blog started, otherwise we’d not have wasted the past few paragraphs discussing other, more trivial things than that, would we?”

-sounds of someone thumbing through the last few blogs, then saying “It might have been this one with Strip Mooseopoly? That was confusing enough for most of our readers, so why wouldn’t you have given me that ultimatum, when the blog lights had been shut off and the rest of the others had gone wherever those kind of people go, when

“Do you remember what we did after that blog?” asked Lola, who hoped it was something, she’d been hoping and praying for, and not necessarily anything to do with fighting, then breaking up!

“Well, I could have gotten close to your hair, like I am now, and that might have caused me to say something like, Gosh Lola. That smell reminds me of a girl, I used to know, before you and all, and she said, I

“Why would you bring up that woman again, or was she someone who had broken up with the likes of you, showing you the door, and not necessarily that door – pointing to the one in question – thus ending your love affair with someone, who obviously couldn’t take your constant brow-beating and attacks of whimsy?”

“Well, she and I might have been playing Strip Mooseopoly, when someone burst through the door – and not necessarily that one over there – pointing to the same door, though not the one in this story – accusing her of being together with someone like me, or not me, depending on who she was, and why she should have been with me in the first place!”

“Well” said Lola, as she looked at the number of current paragraphs, thinking that soon there would be something to look back on, helping them to find out where it all went wrong! “I think, we can put this particular line of thought on the back-burner for now as you assess what has led us here today, and why are we still talking about you leaving me through that door – following her dainty finger as it pointed to the door in question, while he said “Frank and Charlotte, I don’t give a damn, then wandering out of that door- now he is pointing to the door in question – and out of her life, forever!”

“Well, then it must have been those two, who were fighting over something said in one of their blogs, which we haven’t read, who showed the one, or the other the door, and not necessarily that door – pointing to that door, again – which got mixed up with this blog, making me think that you, – pointing to him– and me, which would be obvious to most people, just not Frank or Charlotte, were leaving me!”

“Well” he said, with him doing the wellling this time “In re-reading the past few paragraphs, I’d say that if we removed, “he said, or she said” then this blog would be even more confusing than the one about Strip-Mooseopoly, the title of which by the way, disappeared after the first few references about it, leading our faithless readers to somewhere, where the sun don’t shine!”

“and that” said someone. “Wood be Alaska in the wintertime, woodn’t it?”

“Do you really need to say Alaska?” asked someone else, as the blog unraveled about the edges and the words fell off onto the floor!

“I don’t know, Lola, but I can’t seem to find the first written words, unless you have them hidden in your blouse?” said someone, while someone else answered,

“Come and see if you can find them, they are here, close by!” said with some anticipation

“You mean, like in Alaska, don’t you?…..

“Well, don’t you?”

Whose Loose Moose Shoes, Anyway

Special Today for our Lucky Listeners! Moose Fly Swatters available in the following colors, Palmer Peach, Anchorage Apple, and for those of you who still have one Moose Hoof in the past, Denali Blue!

Lola searched the names of their “Lucky Listeners” trying to discern if any of them had the potential for violence of the Alaskan Type, or were they just those people, who were denied entrance to the Alaska State Fair last year, due to an obvious lack of Palmer Peach Colors woven into their clothing!

“Gosh Lola. I never in your wildest dreams wood have thought that Denali Blue wood still get our listeners out of their seats, and on their way to the Little Moose Boy’s and Girl’s Rooms, wood you?”

“Listen you, that statement makes as much sense as someone who wants to use their hard earned Susan B. Anthony’s on something so trivial as Moose, Fly Swatters, seeing as how prices these days are going through the roof!” said by the vivacious brunette, whose former loves were still wondering why she dropped them instead of shooting them outright, putting them out of their misery?

“See Lola. The Narrator Guy really knows what kind of a woman you are, just not why you’ve never injured me with a fatal shot of from your 30/30 Winchester, after finally having had enough of the Kenai Kenai Paradox!”

“First there were those Moose Fly, Swatters and now the Kenai Kenai Paradox, and we haven’t even reached the 300-word mark as yet in this blog?” thought Lola, as she tried to steer the blog away from those familiar subjects to one that meant something to her as well!

“The time has come for me to visit my mother in Homer, and yes that wood be Homer Alaska, while you stay here and tend to the business at hand, trying your best not to bankrupt us in the ensuing weeks, OK?”

“So what you are really telling me here is that you will be out of sight of Mr Redoubt Stratovolcano, which is the main reason that we love living where we do, or was there another reason for visiting the Old Gal, instead?”

“Listen you” said Lola, wondering if she could keep the blog within the designated, painted lines along the side of the page, or were they again heading downhill, out of control with only Moose Fly Swatters to stem their speed?”

“No commas, that time, My Sweet?” he said, rereading her last paragraph, before allowing her to continue with

“The reason that we live where we do, doesn’t have anything to do with Mt Redoubt, though the last time it erupted, you did say, “Were those tremors I felt, my Sweet, or has the local Moose Fly Swatter Truck hit the side of our house, while we made passionate love?”

“Who said that last statement?” asked Lola, as they inspected the words which were credited to her, but knowing that the Moose Fly Swatter Anomaly was rather new, then something was out of place here for certain?

“Gosh Lola. It does sound like something that I’d have said, then wood be paraphrased by you, with the result being me answering what you had said, about what I had said, while confusing the subject at hand, more than what I am trying to explain in this paragraph!”

“Yep” thought Lola. “No need for the Burough to keep on painting those lines, seeing as how they’d come to be driving outside of them anyway!”

“Maybe you won’t even be visiting your mother, if we go back a few more paragraphs, my Sweet?”

Lola frowned a bit, then said “Well, I was planning on visiting her, but why wood I leave you at home, waiting for us to go bottom’s up?”

“We could ask the Narrator Guy where we went wrong in life, or was that too personal a question to ask of a Stranger?” he said, but then who was the strangest one here, anyway?

“Aha!” announced Lola, who having just reread the last paragraph, said “Even though we are not of the entirely normal type of Standard Issue Alaskan, we don’t go around pointing out each other as Strangers, do we?”

-muttering, then saying,

“Look you two. Instead of wallowing around with that Kenai Kenai Paradox, and whose Moose Shoes were on the wrong Hoof, then why not have a bit of color in your lives, and not just Palmer Peach!” said the Narrator Guy, while our hero said “Wow Lola. Whose Moose Shoes sounds like something we can work with in the next blog, perhaps even alongside the Kenai Kenai Paradox and the Moose, Fly Swatter Salesman, who is visible in his abscess in this particular blog!”

“Don’tcha mean, absence instead of abscess?” asked the Narrator Guy, as Lola started to push him out of the blog saying, “Look you. We have much more experience confusing our Listeners/ Readers than someone like you, so why don’t you just take a flying leap at a Rolling Moose Whole, OK?”

“Woodn’t that rather be a Whole Rolling Moose wearing Loose Moose Shoes, My Sweet?”

-still muttering as he left our two Kenaians, while they discussed the ins and outs of Loose Moose Shoes, and how they wood be included in the next blog or two, depending on the Whimsy Factor at the time!

“Gosh Lola. And all of this happened in the shadow of Mt Redoubt Stratovolcano, if we had been anywhere close by, to the northeast, across the Cook Inlet, along it’s ice-covered slopes, that is!”

Lola just stared at him while he ambled on and on about a colorful nothing, while she just sighed and thought, “Maybe it wood be better, visiting my mother alone this year…..?

“And we wood be there together, My Sweet, if that is, anything I’ve just said, made any sense at all!?”

Applying Moose Fly Bunion Ointment Like a Pro

“So there I stood, next to that Moose Fly Swatter Salesman, and without the usual commas, as you might read, with him saying “I woodn’t do that if I were you, luckily with him not being me, and I, not being him, there woodn’t be any trouble about that, wood there?”

Lola had kind of hoped that the now infamous Moose Fly Swatter Whimsy factor was long gone and forgotten, but knowing how this blog worked, she knew she had to resign herself to the fact of just letting it run it’s course, before a new Chapter of Whimsy took over!

“I wondered if it was something to do with his religion, what with him saying “I’m not allowed to perform that particular function at this time of the year, but I was adventurous that day, when I asked, “Well, what time of the year wood it be, when you wood cross yonder street and that being in Downtown Kenai no less, when he replied “Are you one of those troublemakers who will come between a man and his belief, just to satisfy the little lady at home at all costs?”

Lola looked up at that juncture to say “Did you bean him a good one with one of his Moose Fly Swatters, when he intimated that whatever strange and obtuse thing you wanted him to do, had to do with my wishes on the subject?”

“Gosh Lola. It was you that sent me to Kenai in the first place, remember? I have made a mental note here in this paragraph, seeing as how you’ve suffered yet another one of your memory losses, which doesn’t make defending your honor any easier, the next time we end up in a situation like this, does it?”

“Wait just a minute!” said Lola, as she tried to remember why anyone wood be sending anyone else to Kenai in the first place! “Which Kenai are we talking about here? If it is the one with the Real Kenai Wellness Hotel, the one we never actually visited, unless you count the time that the three of you, dragged me screaming from our room, then-

“No. That was not the Real Kenai Wellness Hotel, was it? The real one was located in Kenai, and we never quite made it there due to that enormous Moose Bunion on your left foot, which you said, and I quote, “I won’t be seen in any Wellness Hotel, no matter how Swanky or Swinky, while I am in terrible pane with my affliction!”

Lola’s mouth opened and closed again, just in time to stymie the enormous Moose Fly that had landed within Swatting Range of our Hero, but who was still lost in the world of Whimsy and Wonder!

“You know, Lola. I’ve told you before about that girl, I once knew, and yes we can mention her without me getting bent out of shape, like you usually do with that other fellow, you know the one, you don’t want me to mention, other than the time or two before this one! Well, she used to get these huge Moose Bunions, while her parents tried to warn her about the two of us having the correct prevention, but lo and behold, those Moose Flies, that caused that affliction, were still seen hovering over her head, especially when we were-

“Are you going into details about when you and the young lass were, well whatever they called that kind of thing in Healy, and-

–breaking in–

-you mean, Healy Alaska? Because if it was that Healy, then yes that is where we might have skipped a few stones together, while her parents and mine as well, were putting up shelving in the spare bedrooms, or words to that effect!”

“But back to the point of this story, it really had to do with the same ointment that the “young lass” as you called her, and the fellow, who had his pocket filled with Moose Fly Swatters, with or without the commas, and who had said to me, “Now, if you and your lady friend are out skipping stones, or putting up shelving, and one of you discovers that a Moose Fly has caused “Bunion Distress” one of your toes, or hers if I might be so intimate in my speech, then all you need to do is apply this ointment, and your troubles will be miles away again!”

“Well, to make a short story long, I shook his hand vigorously and told him that I hoped his religion wood let him cross that street in Kenai, and not in Kenai, while those Two Moose ambled along, and-

–braking into this own thoughts to say,

“Lola, this might solve the one problem, but it won’t solve the others you know? I guess, the Kenai, Kenai Paradox cannot be ointmented away, can it?”

Lola tried her best to comment on his comment, but he beat her to the punch once again, and not by using a Moose Fly Swatter, when he said “But if you try to place a few more commas, then we can start this retailing all over again in the next blog, OK……