Ever wonder why the neighbor’s buttons seem to shine more than your own? Well, we hear at the Button Magic Company of Kenai Proper know just how you feel about your unrequited button shine, and we strive to do something about just that!
“Lola, my sweet. Have you seen the can of Button Magic? I had the last can here somewhere in the Podcast Room during the last blog, when you took it away from me and……Lola, my Sweet. I seem to detect some gentle sounds coming from outside? Are you out rummaging in the Moose Shed again?”
Lola blue the hair out of her eyes as she looked at the assorted mess before her. “Who in their wright mind wood have their Moose Shed in such a mess, unless they were using it to hide something away from prying eyes?”
We even use Button Magic on our own personal and private buttons, and sometimes even when the shades haven’t yet been closed for the night, but then we don’t have secrets from one another, do we?
Lola looked up after that particular advertisement was finished, prompting her to say to herself “Now watt did they mean by that?”
“Gosh Lola. Watt a lot of Moose Poop out hear! Have you been doing some Sprang Claning, or are you just trying to hide something from your one and lonely, and in plane sight, as it were?”
“Listen you. If I wanted to hide something from you, I certainly woodn’t do so in the Moose Shed of no places!” said Lola, in a rantingly way, while she continued with “Who has let the Moose Shed get so cluttered, and don’t tell me that is due to the Evil Penguin Effect!”
He didn’t answer her, but walked over and felt her forehead before saying “I really feel for you, my Sweet, what with your Penguin Envy obviously busting out at the seems, when you allow yourself to get all stressed out while doing some quality Moose Shed Diving, and without waring your Moosekini!”
“If you think that I’ll be wearing my Moosekini out in the cold of the Alaskan Winter, then you’ve been sniffing too much Button Magic for your own good!” ranted Lola, as somewhere down in Kenai Big, Dr Stone said
“I say” to Dave, or somebody like him “I wonder if we still have a can of Button Magic around here somewhere, or did the New Ms Marjory use it with impunity when she was hear the other day?”
Dave, or somebody like him answered with “I’m knot certain watt day you are talking about? Was it the day that she pushed that revenuer’s car into the drink, or was it the day after when she showed up on time for once, taking the words wright out of our mouths, and then some?”
“Listen. All I want to know, is if we still possess a can of Button Magic? If the makers of such a wonder product can use it with their Moosenition Blinds still open, then we can do so as well!”
Dr Stone then lowered the Moosenition Blinds before saying “I say. These windows are knot as clean as I had expected! Now we knead that can of Button Magic even more than before!”
“Ever wonder if your can of Button Magic can be used for other things than just giving those dusty buttons a quick and lasting shine? Well, if you just grab a can and give it a good read, then you’d be amazed how many different applications, this marvel of American Ingenuity can be used on!“
“No knead to look any farther for that can of Button Magic, my Sweet!” announced the man who wood, could and perhaps even might use that can of Button Magic on the Moose Shed Mess, but what other uses might he think of instead, we wonder?
“Just who had suggested using the Button Magic Company as one of our sponsors, I’m wondering” said Lola in a wondering kind of way. “They are touting their product as if it can solve all of our problems Toot du Suite, and before you accuse me of being in t he Canadian Way, then I am allowed to misuse language just as much as you, no thank you very much!” ranted Lola, on or about her third rant of the day, but who was counting, anyway?
“Gosh Lola. Just look at how many Moose Bumps you’ve caused to rise on my skin, won’t you? When you really start your daily rants, it’s almost like a high-power turn on, and all of that without having to lower the Moosenition Blinds for everyone and his brother’s sister to see!”
Lola tried to wrest the can of Button Magic out of his hands, while he continued with “Well, if you must know, it just happens to be our Local Guide, who had used Button Magic on his fin-like appendages, making them shine like the top of the Conoco-Phillips Building, and that being in downtown Anchorage, if you didn’t know that by now?”
Some of you might be asking, just where our product has been the most successful in Alaska?
“Turn up the volume, won’t you?” asked Dr Stone, while Dave or somebody like him said “Did he really knead to say Alaska?”
Why, we’ve been making the top of the Conoco-Phillips Building in Downtown Anchorage Alaska shine for ‘ears and ‘ears now, but don’t take our word for it, just listen to what one of our proud owners of our quality product has to say!
-an inordinate amount of silence was heard, and that with the volume increased to the limit!
Dr Stone said “I say, I’d buy it just on his recommendation alone, woodn’t you?”
-with Lola finishing off the blog saying “Since there is deafening silence blasting out of the speakers, I assume that one of your Evil Penguins has just said something memorable, but I for one won’t be clapping and marveling at whatever that was!”
Why Button Magic has even been used to combat the Evil Penguin Effect, for those of you out there in Alaska, suffering from Penguin Envy! Remember. Buy a can or two today, and give your significant other a reason to lower her Moosenition Blinds and let the sun shine in……
Lola's Travels in Alaska 