Strip Mooseopoly for Beginners

“The Kenai Kenai Paradox” began the Instructor, while I took notes, as the rest of the class shot spit balls at each other, or drew mustaches on pictures of Sarah Palin, actually sprucing up her look a bit, but that wasn’t why we were there, was it?

“Young Man!” said the fellow, looking squarely at me, while I sat there with rounded shoulders. “I’d like you to come up here with me, and write 100 times “The Two Moose I saw, while standing on the corner of Kenai and Kenai Streets in downtown Kenai, are not, and I repeat, Knot associated with the Kenai Kenai Paradox!”

Well, I walked up to that rather largish piece of Moose Slate, before saying “I

Lola tossed and turned a bit, before waking up and feeling next to her in bed, but knot finding the reason for her nightmare, and who wood have deserved a well-placed punch! if he had been present!

–then falling back into that dream, or into that dream, as the case might be!

“The Kenai Kenai Paradox” began the fellow, standing at the front of the class, resembling someone, I might have known, but knot in the Biblical Sense as it were! “helping us to draw a parallel between Moose Number one, and Moose Number two, while keeping the Kenai Kenai Paradox in the front of our minds, then we’ll see…….”Why are you making Moose Eyes at that young woman next to you? Were you raised in a barn, or did someone drop a piece of Moose Slate on your head, causing you to

–waking up again bathed in a cold sweat, while the fellow next to her said “Gosh Lola. If you wanted to go for a swim, then you might have wanted to remove your Moose Skin first, woodn’t you?”

I was sweating bullets, but the woman next to me held back which caliber they were, making it difficult if knot impossible asking her out for a date, or spelunking our way towards that rather largish piece of Moose Slate, making her say “I’m hoping that your own Moose Slate is as big, or bigger, than that piece of Metamorphic Beauty, or this gal is going to be warming somebody else’s metamorphose tonight!”

Lola sat up again, thinking that she was caught in some sort of evil loop, where Moose were Moose and Men were Men, or did she just happen to be stung by an infected Moose Fly, when they were spelunking together in the last dream, or in the last dream or so?

There I stood, in front of my house in Healy…That wood be Healy Alaska, with my mother sobbing a bit into her handkerchief, while whispering, “You don’t knead to say Alaska, you know?”

I nodded in all of the right places, well-knowing that simple fact, but she continued with “Now, you just march right on out there into the Great Big Cruel World, and find yourself a girl, or a piece of Moose Slate, and make your parents proud of you, OK?”

I was about to agree, when my father showed up bearing a stack of wood for shelving in his brawny arms, saying “Here Kid! Take one of these shelves and see if you can convince some girl to help you set them up, OK?”

This time Lola fell out of bed, then she jumped up yelling “Put up your own shelves, won’t you and see if you can do it better than the two of us together, OK?”

-walking into the bedroom then saying “Gosh Lola. What a racket! How in the world can I get our two Mooselings to bed, with you yelling all the time?”

-There there” he said to someone in the other room. “Your Moose Mother just had a little fall, that’s all!” then closing the door behind him, while Lola said “Easy Does It, Girl. Let’s take this one Paradox at a time, before you lose it and

-poking his head back into the bedroom saying “Gosh Lola. What a tennis racket! How in the world can I get our two Tennis Balls to bed, with you yelling all the time?”

-moving past him into the other room, Lola looked around but didn’t see anyone, or anything, before saying “Pinch me, OK and make it a good one!”

“Well, I’d do as you ask, but that’s how the hole mess started in the first place didn’t it? We were playing Strip-Mooseopoly when you said “I am not removing my Moose Skin, just because you landed on Kenai and Kenai Street in Downtown Kenai, no less!”

With the both of them, or none of them being in Alaska, that is……

-or Alaska, as the State might be!

Gone but Forgotten

“I’m telling you Lola, she was here just a minute ago, but now she’s gone!”

Lola sat up in bed wondering what was going on. She looked around, but didn’t see anyone else in their bedroom, but then he did like to rise and shine with the Penguins, or how did that expression go again?

Lola yawned and wondered if it would be worth returning to sleep, seeing as how it still was dark outside, on this otherwise, completely normal, not out of the ordinary kind of morning in the State of Al……No! She told herself. I’m not going to start saying Al….like…..

Her head was just about to hit the pillow when her One and Only Lonely burst into the room saying, “How in the world can you go back to sleep, with me knowing what I know, and you knowing what that means, knowing me, you know?”

Lola waited to see if this were some sort of Temporal Loop, allowing her to strike him repeatedly, while she enjoyed a cup of Steaming-hot Tundra Tea, and….

“She was here” he gesticulated, like he never had gesticulated before, pointing to the space, rather empty looking, beside him, while he measured the area saying “Dang! I just can’t remember where my Meter Stick has gotten to, but don’t Fret, because my guitar never had all of its strings anyway!” and with that he ran out of the room again, while Lola’s reply was still hovering someplace between her brain and her lips, those which now were being scorched by the Tundra Tea!

Lola wondered what the plan was for the day? Was it anything worthwhile like writing Love Sonnets to each other, then sending them across the room on Paper Airplanes, while she cosied deeper down into her Imitation Grizzly Bear Recliner and pondered the moment, while the snows swirled about outside on this cold, cold March Day!

B. just ran in and collapsed on the sofa, while his eyes darted about, not being able to hit the bullseye, no matter how many chances she gave him!

“better try another game of chance” she whispered to his almost lifeless form, “Something like love, might suit you better!”

“Lola. Get a grip, OK?” he looked around the room as if it were vaguely familiar, and yet….

Muttering to himself – “She was here, then gone…..I remember, because when I woke up, I would check to see where she was, but suddenly and mostly without warning…..”

“Lost another Girl from Canada?” asked Lola rather nonchalantly, as if he did that kind of thing on a regular basis.

“Well, Yes and No would be the proper reply, but this is no time for talking! This is the time for Action, plain and simple!” and with that he ran out of her life again, leaving her alone in her loneliness, as if they never ever had met on that one day of note, a day of mention that defined their lives together from that moment onward.

She had just finished her Bachelor’s Degree involving “Music from a String-less Guitar, when she ran into him, quite unexpected, as she was about to leave the University Campus in Homer Alaska. He just looked up from the ground, where he had fallen at her feet saying, “Ma’am. I just love women who pronounce “Alaska” like you just did!”

Theirs was a whirlwind romance, quite contrary to her former loves, who never had been able to clock winds higher than 35 Miles Per Hour, even when they had pulled their arms to the sides and held their heads low to reduce friction!

“But why” her friends had asked her. “Why was he lying on the ground at that exact moment, when you came by?”

“That” she told them slowly but deliberately, “That is what the poets will be writing about us someday…..”

Lola awoke again, wondering what the time was, but trying to remember what she just had been dreaming? She used to write things down in a notebook by her bed, wanting to make sense of the jumbled images that had plagued her, since she had met her lover, those many years ago?

He entered into the bedroom, bearing a tray with steaming Tundra Tea and wearing nothing but a smile on his…..while saying “Gosh Lola. What a Sleepyhead you are! Some people’s kids, Huh?”

As Lola sipped the Tea waiting for its warmth to help her cope with the upcoming day, he remarked, “Just think of it. If I hadn’t fallen for you all those years ago, I might still have been looking for”……..looking wistfully into the air…..”Now what was her name anyway?”

Then exiting the room, while Lola just thought “Gone, but hopefully Forgotten!”

He popped his head back inside again saying “Darn lucky, I can’t remember that Girl’s name, isn’t it? Otherwise, I might have been living in Canada instead of being here with you….

in Alaska, that is!”