This is the story of one man and his fight with the elements. A man in the Last Frontier, not like any other man, neither before, nor after when you consider, or if you don’t consider what that really means!
“Gosh Lola. Someone is really writing some classy literature on the back of cereal boxes these days! Why I remember when I was younger, and the only thing we got to read about was how eating Oats from Alberta would make you grow up into a strong and well-liked Canadian, who could swim the North Saskatchewan River in a single flap of your flippers!”
Lola had hoped that his Cheshire Penguin Smile would fade in time, but he seemed determined to keep the memory of Bob the Penguin alive as long as possible!
“Why in the world did you buy that kind of cereal?” she asked as she read the name on the box, “White Rabbit Weedies” – The Breakfast of Champignons! “Honestly” said Lola while sporting her classic Sneer, “A breakfast cereal made from mushrooms? What will they think of next?”
He just continued to read the back of the box, while saying “Lola. My Love. It was not just for the anti-oxidant qualities of the mushrooms, but because of this here!” said while pointing to a “Look Here” bubble on the front of the box telling about 56 free Tattoo stickers -try before you buy!”
“Are we really going down that road again?” asked Lola as she considered her own classic tattoo, a 30-30 Winchester, the epitome of the Old West!
“Gosh Lola. I’ve thought about this decision for as long as this particular blog has existed, and you know something?” waiting for her to shake her pretty head, then giving her hair her trademark, “swirl” before she would be saying,
“And stop fantasizing about my hair, Got it?”
“You know what Lola?” but not waiting for her reply this time, he went on saying, “This is almost like the first time we met each other. You were just sitting there on that street corner, wearing your white rabbit socks, while I rode by on my-
“Are we talking skateboards here, or was it a white stallion, which reared its head back, throwing you off into my arms?” said Lola, completing his story with one of her own, while she looked up the nearest Tattoo Parlor in Homer where he finally could get the deed done!
“Lola” he said, sweeping her hand away from her cell phone, then taking her into his arms, looking deeply into her eyes, then saying, “I thought of patronizing the new Tattoo Place in town, “Robert Fettgans Presents – Marking you for life“, located just Off Broadway near that little theater where you were auditioning for that new play, “Penguins of the Cook Inlet.”
“I was just a fancy passing by, while you sat there, on that street corner on that theatrical stage saying, “If only a Real Alaskan Man sporting the Right Tattoo on or about his Puny Muscle would ride on by me right now, I might just consider sharing a Avocado-flavored Malt and a plate of Penguin Fries at the nearby Drugstore in Homer….Alaska!”
“So” said Lola slowly, “Are you going with the Fat Goose Tattoo, or…..?”
“Let’s not rush into a poorly-thought out decision” he said, while looking over the sheet of tattoo stickers, wondering if there was one with “Healy, or Homer” among the other choices.
“Are you really going to get a tattoo this time, or was it just an idea to glean more readers to this blog, which is lacking any redeeming value or long-lasting qualities!”
“You know what? Those were some of the first things you asked me when we were sharing that Avocado-flavored Malt in Homer. You asked me, Do you possess long-lasting qualities? Which I interpreted as meaning, “Did I, I mean, could I, well, you know perform as good as you thought/hoped I could?”
Lola just looked up at him, while considering his last spoken lines, thinking that they might just be able to make Beautiful Theater together? She crossed her legs while inching her white rabbit socks just a millimeter closer to his puny muscle saying, “I
“Well” said Lola impatiently “What were those two really up to?”- In that deserted Theater, off the beaten-track of Homer Alaska, with her vulnerability just starting to show, as he reached over to kiss her waiting lips for the first time!
After that kiss, that might just win him that Oscar at the annual Award Ceremony at Homer High School’s Homecoming Party, she replied, “Are you sporting the Tattoo of a Real Alaskan Man under your Imitation Grizzly Bear Tunic, or is that only a dream that you’ve had during the length of this present blog?”
-crunching heard as he pushed the cereal box aside, saying-
“Gosh Lola. It says here that Fettgans is another word for Penguin!”
“Funny coincidence, huh?”