While Standing on His Soapbox

“Tell me what you can see?” A simple question for a simple thinker.

Lola was getting rather ticked off with numerous mentions of Alberta, Canada, and-

“Uh Lola. This is almost as exciting as when you say Alaska!”

Lola was getting rather tired, when the man who chose to occupy at least 45% of their bed at night, continually referred to another place on God’s Green Earth, and that not being where they called home!

“Now look in this direction, won’t you?” Lola had turned up her charm and patience to a level that most assuredly would get her through this blog, but she had been wrong about that kind of thing before.

“What do you see?”

He squinted, then held his hand such that it shaded his sight. His utter silence was only broken by the lonesome call of the Canadian Geese, who were winging their way overhead, bound for-

“I see…..Alaska!”

Lola just beamed and breathed a sigh of relief, before continuing. “And when you stand up on this soapbox, what then catches your eye?”

-placing a soapbox procured from the Soldotna Soap Box Company of Kenai Alaska, next to his feet, then directing him thus….-

“Gosh Lola. If only you could see what I’m seeing up here! It’s just magical!” said by the man who began to wave and yell at the top of his lungs, “I’ll tell her so, Sure as shooting!”

“Who in Homer’s name were you yelling to up there?” asked Lola as she craned her neck in a Cantilever fashion, but couldn’t see more than the hairs on the back of his neck. “Haven’t I told you before to shave your neck?”

“Some women like their men to have a certain amount of hair on their bodies, so they can run their fingers through it when they are, well in the process of, in case the moment presents itself and they give way to, well, you know?”

“Look you. Forget those hair follicles right at the moment and tell me who you were waving to?”

“Well, it was your mother, and she was excited seeing me so high up over Homer….You know Homer Al-

“Don’t start with me! I know where my mother lives, but I can’t understand how you and she can see each other, when you just are standing on….Get out of my way” she said, pushing him off his throne and assuming an air of Royalty with her scepter and her royal imitation grizzly bear robes, saying “Uh. I can only see that largish telephone mast shaped like a Sitka Spruce!”

Queen Lola of the Alaskans displaying her fine form

“Gosh Lola. You sure have found your sexiest photos to grace our humble blog with!

B. climbed up next to her, standing relatively close to, but not entirely on top of which made her mother scream at the suggestion that they were really, uh well, they actually were close enough to, but only if you had a vivid imagination, but “Won’t somebody call the police and report something!”

Lola’s cellphone began to ring……”Hello. Yes this is Lola. No she/I am not some floozy who consorts with men in broad daylight, when their mother is watching….No Mom, we are not, well you know, not at this exact moment, that is, and if you didn’t know that by now, some might say that…No we are just extremely close to each other’s way of thinking, that’s all!”

“Gosh Lola. It’s really special being up here with you right now! Maybe we could do this more often, you know set up a table with some chairs, and eat our Moose Chips out here, while we are drinking Edmonton Chablis, or, or

“And how far do you think it is from the ground to where my foot is hovering so close to your most private area?”

He stepped off the box and ran back into the house. Lola just stood there ans sighed thinking how she just wanted him to see that it wasn’t possible seeing Alberta from that soapbox, but the way that this blog was progressing, she knew in her heart that, that-

“Here it is Lola. My Official Meter Stick, Old Edmonton, as my dad used to call it! Now let’s see, if I was way up yonder, where you are now, then moving the stick way down, where I am right now then, then….Uh Lola. Why are we outside concentrating all of our energy on this soapbox anyway? Are you ready to give a speech or something? I’m all ears!”

He sat down on the ground and looked admiringly up at the woman whose prowess and sex-appeal was known far and wide on the Kenai Peninsula, and if you were lucky, and stood next to her on that soapbox, then you too might experience her majesty, closer at hand…..

Lola just looked down into his large, trusting eyes, then told him, “Before I forget, my mother sends her regards, and if you are game, then take this soapbox under your arm, after I’ve descended that is, and meet me in the bedroom for a continuation of my speech!”

“And remember to tell me again about my prowess and sex-appeal, and then we can do all those things that my mother already has accused us of doing……

“Out in the great outdoors of Alas…… ka!”

“Gosh Lola. Then you can try out my neck hairs again, huh?”