Bent Sharp and Rusty Steel starring in, “The Return of Lola La Rue!”
“Gosh Lola. I thought Lola La Rue was goners, when the last film showed her shot in her unmentionables at daylight that one Alaskan Winter?” Lola just looked at him and said, “Lola is only a Metaphor for what is good and true in Womankind! Didn’t you understand the point of the movie?”
He just sat there and whittled his rod, while the camera panned back to show the building where Lola was wholed up when the Mounted Police searched for her, and her nasty mob of, well those bad guys that supported her. “Are you going to play with your rod all day, or are you going to please me like a real man should have done before the last scene, where he said he was leafing me for someone else?”
-“But I would never leaf you Lola, you know that”, said by the man whose forest was then, and will always be dear to his heart, like she was!
-“But Lola” asked the man sitting beside her, feeling around for the goodies in her box….of popcorn, saying “I’ll bet Bent Sharp would like to cast his Steely Gaze upon her, that is if Rusty Steel hadn’t already polished her belt buckle, or whatever they call that kind of thing today?”
Lola just looked back over her shoulder to the third and most decisive paragraph in this movie, saying “but who was the man, she was referring to, but who didn’t please her, while others might have been pleasing her instead?”
She had a point there, but he had troubles enough finding his own point in this story, wondering if he too could please her like a woman like her wanted to be pleased?
“Cut” yelled the Director as his assistant placed a cold-compress on his head and told him that they would be doing it after dinner tonight, if he felt up to it, that is? “Cost overruns”, he said. “Threats from the Canadians for Copyright infringement, Hoards of Homerites who were hired as extras, but got lost on the way to the set because they mixed up the Sterling Highway with the Steward Highway, and someone keeps letting those 2 Moose onto the set, where they don’t belong!”
“Wow Dude. What a Bummer”, said Tristan to Barney, while they ogled the actress playing Lola La Rue. “I still haven’t gotten over the final scene in the last movie where she was caught in her unmentionables, but we, as Vision Moose, are allowed to mention them, aren’t we? Huh Barney?”
Barney just looked over to Lola La Rue, and wondered how she would look with a winter coat on, just wandering as it were along through the forest near Homer, while he would just be whistling a tune, then saying”Oh Hi there young woman, and what brings you to this part of the fore…”
“Hey Man. You went out like a LED on me there. Are you still following what I’m saying, or is the excitement too much for you and all?” said Tristan, now sporting a sign saying”Moose Extra available, inquire here!”
Lola La Rue just slinked across the room in a slanky way and pulled him closer to him than the PG-13 rating would allow. “Kiss me, like you’ve never kissed another woman, or her Pet Moose before, and tell me that you love me, before I blow your brains out with this”….pointing to his whittling stick, or was it a bar of soap, shaped like a gun, but slippery, Oh so slippery to the touch, but only when she had revealed her assets to him, with him exclaiming, “My Goodness Gracious Miss La Rue, I never imagined them to be that slippery!”
“Cut” yelled the Director again, while his able-bodied and not a bad looker of an assistant, fanned his face, while she waited for her turn in the Limelight, or was it just another one of his low-down, cheating lies, when he said that she would look good on film, but really only wanted her to pose in the….”
“Cut” yelled the Director again, fearing that Miss La Rue’s assets were delaying the entrance of Rusty Sharp and Bent Steel as they rode into Soldotna, and exclaimed, “We’ve been a hankering for something Miss La Rue, and you usually know what that means….!”
The Director wanted to yell, Cut, but feared more delays would force them over the waterfall at or near the 800-word mark, not knowing if she would survive the barrel trip as the 3-Leading Men waited with bated-breath at the bottom of her Gorge, waiting to dive into her Chasm, and…
“Cut” yelled Lola as she had just about had enough of their snide comments and double entendres! “Come” she told me and we went into the other room to consider our options, while the rest of the cast was told to have a few drinks on the house, then take the next few days off while Lola re-wrote the script, or..
“Gosh Lola. I was just looking forward to getting into, Lola La Rue. I mean, getting into her figure a bit more…I mean, you know?”
Lola just stood in front of him, with the light of the Alaskan Winter Sunset illuminating her unmentionables as she pushed him on the bed and said,”Let’s see how you can handle these – pointing to well, this and that, saying – or are my assets too slippery for the likes of you….?”
Lola La Rue will return in another film of ecstasy and intrigue, coming soon to a blog near you…….
“Gosh Lola. It might have been easier if there had been handles, or something like that……”