How Many Fingers are You Holding Up?

Lola tried not to look concerned, but there was something nagging at her.

“All right”, She said with determination. “How many fingers am I holding up?” She asked him to see how well he heard what she was saying.

“Sex Now? Gosh Lola, the day has just started, but if you are in the mood, then I can just start pulling the old cord to get my engine running, but sometimes, the choke doesn’t work, or the cord breaks, or….what were we talking about anyway?”

Lola could see that his hearing was most likely on the blink, or was it really his eyes?

“Now. As I hold my fingers up, you tell me what you see?” Asking him while yelling at the top of her lungs, and waiting until his eyes registered, the number of…

“Is it animal, vegetable or mineral?” asked the Love of  Her Life, but his answer didn’t quite fit her question. “Come on Lola, I can’t wait all day, are we going to, well, you know, or should we save it for when you are really in the mood  and not just trying out your sign-making course?”

Lola thumbed through the Yellow Pages, until she found a doctor nearby their home.

“Look You”, she said loudly, while he just smiled with that goofy look on his face. “We need to take you to the Doctor, OK?”

First he nodded, then shook his head, but reached over and gave her a kiss and said, “No. I didn’t get the license plate number of that Moose, but you know how fast they are, don’t you?”

“There I was, just minding my own business, when out of nowhere, which is pretty much where we live anyway, a Moose appeared. Now don’t look so surprised, because it was a Moose! Well I told myself, if I had been listening at the time, “Watch Out You Fool” which sounded like something you would say, but don’t worry. I don’t take offense at something like that anyway! Well, he, or she as the case might be, just kept on coming, and I thought of using my Moose Whistle to ward him/her off? I fumbled about with it as the Moose grew closer, or if I had decided in my subconscious to move closer to it and…”

“Hey Lola, what are we doing at the Doctor’s House?”

Lola just parked the Caribou Cart and proceeded to knock on the door. After a while the door opened a crack and someone said, “Don’t shoot us Lola, Please!”

“Gosh Lola. They’ve heard about you. Isn’t that grand?”

Lola just pushed her way into the building while her longtime friend and companion continued to talk about how Moose really were from Planet B, and they had come to Earth to take our cabbages, and…

“Look here Doc” said Lola rather short and sweet. “This poor bloke has gotten himself run over by a Moose and….Yes. One of those largish animals that..No I did not get the number of his license plate, but….You know what? You might just be related to him…Now where has he gotten to?”

Lola started searching the building, then the backyard, then she noticed his tracks leading towards the nearby forest. A swirling noise was heard up ahead, and sure enough a flying frying pan of sorts, with the remains of the fried eggs from breakfast, not having water put on it while there was still a chance to clean it, without scraping the…but where was B.?

Just as she finished that thought, a door opened on the Space Ship with B. coming out together with a rather largish-sized animal that…

“Lola. Wake up Dear! Gosh Lola, what a dream you must have been having! You were yelling about “Did you get the number of that Moose ?” and I was really worried that we might have to take you to the Doc’s house again? You know he hasn’t really forgiven you since that last time, when his front window got shot out when you thought he was harboring fugitive Canadians in his living room! I said, “I’m sure they are just regular, residents of, of, then you broke in and yelled “It’s Alaska, you Boob!” then guns started going off and the Doc hit the floor, but….”

“Did you or did you not get run over by a Moose?” asking him point-blank, without blinking and demanding an answer before, they could…

“Well, I actually did Lola, just before we went to bed, remember? And you said, “Did you get the license number of that Moose?” and I said…

“No, I didn’t said Lola. I asked you to tell me how many fingers you were holding up, and you said, “5” but we can make it into Sex if that pleases you more?”

“-but then you reached out to kiss me, or was it hit me, but that is besides the point anyway! Well, I said “Gosh Lola” here I am feeling a bit woozy, and all you can think about is Sex!”, when you said, “It wasn’t me who wanted Sex, but you!”

And I said, “but I only held up 5 fingers”, but did you know how fast those Moose really are? Well, I do, because there I was, in the middle of nowhere, which by the way is where we live and……….

 

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