-pulling out the old abacus saying, “Yep. Just around 400 words now. Just think, how we’ve come half way, without even trying. Patting himself on the back, putting his feet up and taking a drink while…”
“Look you. We are not halfway yet. We have just begun, and I have a funny feeling about you today, now why might that be?”
“Gosh Lola. It might be like those people who don’t quite make the grade while performing Whoopie? They will just be sitting there wondering, “Should I smoke, or does it matter? What if he wants to touch me there again? Will that matter? Then they consider jumping off Lemming Bridge, just like that poor girl from Monter-real. There she was on the edge while the others in the crowd yelled, “Jump, Jump Jump. Or, if you are not going to jump then take it all off! Then they started cheering and the firemen had to hose them down, before they set fire to the wooden buildings in the town, what with the heated tempers rising and all….”
“Like I said”, said Lola. “Not even halfway through!”
“Gosh Lola. You might at least tell me what you think of my latest idea? We’ll never be able to pull it off, if we are over halfway without having satisfied our needs!”, Said while considering a non-smoke, but would that matter?
“Look You! You haven’t told me anything about an idea, just Lemming Bridge, paper buildings, and those type of lovers who can’t say, “Yes, Yes, Oh My God Yes” without sounding like it was more like “….
“Uh Lola. I didn’t say it was us that had problems, did I? It’s not like we’ve been getting Hate Mail, especially from Australia, after the David Redpath incident! But if we just had a photo or two, then we could use “Travel” as one of our tags. People would want to read us like the dirty looks that we give each other, but only when they think that coming to Alaska will solve their Acne, and make them more attractive to Canadians!”
“What is it with you and those Canadians anyway?” said while she considered her own pleasure at the hands of someone she loved…..”
“Why are you looking in the mirror at yourself right now, Lola?- but as it happens, the Canadian incident, as some might refer to it happened…why are you still looking at your reflection in that mirror, while arching your head back and….”
“Well, you see. It all started years ago before we met each other in Anchorage. You told me that you didn’t do Anchorage, but suddenly, without warning, you ended up in that very same place, on a course of sorts, which most of us that remember things like that, don’t ever remember hearing about what the course was called? Wasn’t it the Main Course, when you said ” I like sweet things in the morning” and I said, “If I pour sugar all over my body, will that do?” Then you said, “I’d rather eat Cinnamon Cake with M&M’s on it!” and I said, “Well, if you want, I can…”
“Are you sure the two people in that conversation were you and me? Were we really in Anchorage, and didn’t you put your tongue someplace, while I was wondering how we met each other in the first place?”
I said, “Haven’t you misplaced a Time Zone or two, and you said, “If I did, it was probably because…wait a minute. I’m beginning to sound just like you!, and I still haven’t heard about your idea, or why Canada stepped on your little toe?”
“Gosh Lola. Question A, would be how we could catch small white rabbits and sell them to the tourists?”
“But aren’t they wandering around everywhere? Who in their right mind would buy a rabbit that is free anyway?” said Lola as if she really cared about what he was babbling about, while feeling how soft yet strong her legs were, thinking….”
“Funny how that brings us to Question B. Well, I figure that we can tell Canadians that end up on the wrong side of their border, that it is a lucky thing to buy a white rabbit from Alaska! We could stand along Highway 1, near Healy on the Kenai Peninsula, while those Foreign Tourists would screech to a halt, “Screech” would be the approximate sound, and they would pile out of their Canadian-Made Cars and say, “Gosh. Look at those white rabbits, my French-Speaking Lover, and she would say, “I don’t care what I have to do to have one, just… And there I was. Holding my white rabbit in the air, thinking how minutes before, it was trying to go down the whole, and you said,”…
“Not the whole. The Hole! Don’t you know the difference between the two?”
Well, some might be having trouble imagining this whole business! Some might say, ” if the whole fits, then…., but that might just be a personal problem? She might remark, “Oh, how I want to play with the whole rabbit, before it makes its way down my hole” while her lover says, “Not now dear. There are people watching! Then we will have made a killing on selling white rabbits, who will be confiscated at the border, returning them to the right side of the Canadian Border! Then they will stand on top of their cars and yell, “Curse you Kenaians, you haven’t seen the last of Foreigners like us”, then they would speed away, yelling out curses in French, almost like the time that unfortunate incident happened to me, changing the way I would come to think about Canadians and their wholes!”
-“but you still haven’t told me about how it all….”
“Sorry Lola, but we’ve come to the end of this blog, which might just have gone full-circle, as we started in the middle in the first place!”
“If you just start reading this now, then jump to the beginning, then you might just see how the hole thing makes sense anyway!”
“And that is the truth, as I see it…..”
Lola's Travels in Alaska 