“I have a bunion on your left foot, is that psychic as well?”, asked Lola, whose finger pointed to my foot, even though she said, I have!
“Lola, every school boy and girl has heard about Palmer Pete the Alaska Tailless Lemming from the town of Prediction. That is in Alaska, you know? Well, one day he saw his tail, which meant that an avalanche was about to take half the town with it on the way to Palmer. Well, because of his prediction, and because half of Prediction was already at the yearly water-polo championships in Palmer, Alaska, with the two teams from Healy and Clear, then less than half of the half that were left in Prediction would be afflicted by that event that saw Clear with a Clear Advantage over Healy!”
“Isn’t this really about how much Winter is coming to the state of Maine, or…”
“No. Lola. It. Is. Not. If you had read your history book in school instead of saying “Wow. That Bunky Dude is Funky, and I would like to sharpen his pencils in the next classroom while…”
“We did not go to school together! I went to Homer School For Girls while you went to Homer High. It was at the Homecoming Game that we first-”
“Was it then?” he said, while scratching his, but decided to scratch…. instead. “I remember how I was standing in line to buy tickets for the Homecoming Game, when Freaky Fred was talking to himself in back of me. I asked him what, or who he was talking to, and he said, They call us Homer-Sapiens, you know? That was a joke at that Girl’s School, which is a rather Neanderthal way of thinking if you ask me? He was the one that never seemed to get anywhere with those girls ,who considered him to be on the stockier side, with shorter legs and bigger body that….”
“Aren’t we getting off the subject?” asked Lola though she did prefer her men tall and thin, with just a touch of grey for that distinguished look.
“Not really if you followed my drift”, said as he leaned to one side and waited for the rotation of the earth to pull him back to the other side.
“Just think about being a Palmer-ite instead of a Homer-Sapien! Even worse would be if you came from Chickaloon, which would make you a Chickalooney, which is still better than if you came from…”
“Are we ever going to hear Palmer Pete’s Prediction?, even if I really cared, or are we going to just sit here and gaze into each other’s eyes with you saying, “Gosh Lola. Now I know why I fell in love with you in the first place, and I want to give you my class ring, so we can go steady with each other. said while batting her eyelashes and showing me just a hint of skin, while I considered uncovering my bunion and letting it breath in the warmth of the late Alaskan Summer!
“Well, Palmer Pete was seen on Live-TV the other day when I was shooting the breeze down at the Bent Antler Bar in Homer….Alaska…And Wally said, “If he had been here in Homer, someone might have shot him! Then we could have nailed his skinny butt on the wall over yonder – using his good hand with fewer gunshot injuries to motion our stares over to the blank spot on the wall, where the photo of Sarah Palin used to hang. “Oh Sarah” said Wally and shed a small tear saying “It could have been you and I, if only you hadn’t…..”
“Then the TV man said, and we are about to find out if there will be 2 more weeks of Summer, or if the Winter had its way and decided to come early anyway!” Then Armand turned towards me and said, “Oh I hate it when someone decides to come early, don’t you?” which made me think about this and that when he said “and there you are, not expecting that your guest has already arrived, and you haven’t put the Denali Blue Sheets on your bed, making you feel embarrassed that you weren’t prepared for…”
“Just what does Armand have to do with Pete?” asked Lola getting a hankering for a bag of Moose Chips and a stiff drink of Short Island Iced Tundra Tea, but not wanting to let go of this interesting story of love and intrigue in the State of Al……
“Which I thought was a pretty obvious thing” he continued with, “seeing how Pete didn’t tell Armand that he was coming early, leaving Armand no time whatsoever to put on his Ascot which was in Denali Blue, if you didn’t know it, and Wally said, “I’d tell Pete to put his tail in gear and get to getting!” which Armand replied, ”
“And now we have just gotten confirmed reports that Prediction Pete has just been shot in Prediction………Alaska!” said the TV man, as his camera crew dropped their bags of Moose Chips and spilled their Short Island Tundra Teas to see that….
“Yep” said Wally as he put the hammer down and admired his work.
“Now I can take over for Old Pete, predicting that today would not be one of his better ones…….
Lola's Travels in Alaska 